As parents, we want to give your children the best. We sacrifice our lifestyle to better suit theirs. We pour into them and love unconditionally.
We nurse their hurts and challenge them to be better. We invest in their talents and gifts. We protect them with our lives. We train them to love, forgive and be themselves. However, what if it’s not enough? What if as parents, we still feel inadequate?
The words, “ we are failing our children” rang through my head. My husband vocalized this sentiment during our conversation. Upon hearing those words, I quickly responded, “No”. What would made you say that? I continued. He whispered softly, “ I don’t know”. I saw the frustration on his face. He paused as he searched for his words. Raw emotions filled the room. Suddenly, he broke the silence. “ Our children are not potty trained ”, he uttered. Everyone’s children are potty trained but ours. Silence slowly filled the room yet again. I jumped in, “we are in the process of training our daughter”. We agreed that our son needed a bit more time to begin the process. He has not shown any markers to indicate that he is ready. We agreed to toilet trained one child at a time, I reiterated. My husband continued, “that’s true but it’s this feeling that I can’t shake off”.
I went through a list of ways we foster, nurture, love and provide for our children. However, I wondered if the validation was for me instead of him. I gathered, he wanted to voice this feeling and process it together. However, I quickly shut down because I was not ready to go there. So, I wrapped it in a pretty bow and placed it in a container.
As the day went by, the thought lingered in my head. The words, “I think we are failing our children”, ruminated in my mind. I wondered, if this statement was true. I looked at Adam and Madison and wondered if we did our best as parents. Were there more that we can do? We attempted to discuss it again. This time really being present and working through those feelings. We talked about some interventions but still felt vulnerable.